Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Lessons From My Marriage, Leading Takes Time and Link Up

The Bible says our husbands should be our spiritual leader.  When I first got married I was so frustrated because it felt like my husband wasn't "leading".

I had this picture in my mind of what my husband the "great spiritual leader" would look like.  I envisioned morning devotions with coffee and committed prayer time with one another.  I figured we'd be spending much of our conversation time in deep theological discussions, all because my husband would be the "spiritual leader."

My husband however had 2 big things going against him.  The first was he had never been married, he had never been the "spiritual leader" before and had zero experience in this field.  The second thing going against my husband, was in the same way he had no idea how to lead, I had no idea how to follow. Oh, sure we had some idea of what leading and following should look like, but it's a completely different to know what you should do and actually make a habit out of doing it.

I hate to admit it but this became an area of frustration for us early on in our marriage and it needn't have.  It probably would have helped me to know that this was normal.  I figured leading would come naturally for my husband, and following would come naturally for me. HA!  Oh the things life teaches us.

It's funny, as I was linking up this morning to different blogs it just seemed like I was forgetting one link-up but I just couldn't put my finger on it.  Oh yeah!  Mine.  Better late than never I suppose : )

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  1. We've been serving the Lord for almost a decade now and I really believe that my beloved husband is not at all the spiritual leader that he should be (for he is the one managing our company). But there are 2 things that I'm grateful to the Lord for for him: his strong faith (in times of crisis, I panic, he remains calm and steadfast in his faith) and he fasts and prays regularly for the whole family. Lately, my mind has been gradually being renewed: that I should learn to live with what the Lord has arranged for us.

  2. Thank you for this post. This is an area I have struggled with. Not only do we have both of those two struggles going against us, but my husband is a newer Christian than me, so I often feel like he is intimidated by my faith (which has had years longer to grow than his). It's nice to know this struggle is normal. I have learned to rejoice in the small things: like my husband taking the lead in our dinner prayers, etc.

  3. This sounds very familiar! It's hard for men to learn how to lead when they're too busy having to follow their wives. We usually have these romantic pictures about what our married life will be like, and for Christians, it many times has to do with our pious, Godly husbands. It takes a while to realize that they are just as fallen and imperfect as we are :)

  4. I can so relate to this! I realized not long ago that the wife's responsibilities are to pray for her husband to be a Godly leader, and to encourage him as he grows in that role.
    Thanks for the great post & for hosting the linkup!
    God bless,


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