Sunday, July 8, 2012

Lessons From My Marriage, Expectations

This Saturday my husband and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary, well we actually celebrated on Friday when we had a sitter, but you get the idea.

 It's funny, I've been a wife longer than I have been a mother, and yet I am so intimidated about writing on the subject of marriage.  I can write about my kids all day, but my marriage, eeek!

This week I'm going to try and get over the hurdle of fear though and share some things that I've learned.  Things that I wish someone would have told me.  Things I hope everyone can relate to.  Because let's face it, marriage isn't easy.  It's not always sunshine, butterflies, and unicorns.

Everyone talks about needing realistic expectations before getting married.  I knew this, in fact I read book after book and listened to sermon after sermon about adjusting my expectations before getting married.  I braced myself for the morning breath, socks all over the house, and the other bachelor habits that were sure to appear. I told myself my husband wouldn't be perfect, we weren't going to fight over these things because my expectations were adjusted.

I was ready. HA!!! How in the world could any young woman who's never been married be ready?!

I may have adjusted my expectations on a lot of "issues" but there were still so many areas that I hadn't really even considered.  There were areas of our relationship that even after dating 4 years, I had no idea would become "issues" after getting married.  

So over the past 5 years, we've both adjusted our expectations and taken course corrections.  We've tried to go at things with a good sense of humor and joy.  And we've of course tried to to seek God's will for our lives.

What lessons have you learned from your marriage?

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  1. Congratulations! Lessons from marriage....after 24 years, many. Here are 5 "Cs" communication, compromise, compassion, courtesy, did I mention communication... At this stage in my life, I can say that it is very important for young mothers to work on their marriage and put as much time in it as they would lets say... another child. Once the kids are grown and it is just you 2 better have someting left between you that will bind you like the kids did. Forgive and forget the little things...they really don't matter. Blessings from Wisconsin.

  2. Oh Km, what a sweet and honest post! Happy Anniversary. So glad you linked it up with The Alabaster Jar! What I've learned in marriage is that it's not about me, and that's when my marriage becomes wonderful. I know that does not make logical sense. The 'one flesh' that we now are should be the focus. The question I'd ask myself is what makes our 'oneness' stronger and am I doing my part as a godly wife? If my man is not doing his part then I do my best to leave that between him and the Lord.

  3. My children sometimes gave me the best advice about my marriage. Like when I was complaining because by husband did the dishes - but not the way I do them - and didn't wipe the counter, and didn't clean out the sink strainer....and my daughter said,'but Mom, he did the dishes,' 'yes, I know, but...' MOTHER, he DID THE DISHES.' It finally sunk in - and so did the fact that I do things that irritate him. Don't complain about the little things - DISCUSS the major ones in a loving way.
    Looking forward to your series.

  4. Adjusting expectations is an ongoing thing in marriage. Seems like you are doing well at rolling with it and continuing to adjust! Congrats on 5 years. Our anniversary is in a couple weeks!

    Mary Beth

  5. Hello! After 9 years of marriage, I agree totally. So much we can't prepare for! But the newest "discovery" I have been working on is to be quiet. I tend to speak before I think. And frankly a lot I think can be left unsaid-and the world stays a happy place!


Please be kind when commenting, I don't mind differing views but all mean spirited and hateful comments get the ax!