Friday, July 20, 2012

It Doesn't Matter If Your Kids Are Spoiled Part 1

I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts lately about spoiling your kids.  Some of which have been written by bloggers that I really enjoy.  All of the recent blog posts I’ve read on this subject bring up some very valid points about obedience, but here’s the thing for every mother out there who is actually spoiling her child there is another mother out there that worries needlessly she’s spoiling her child.  These posts have the potential to make some mothers feel guilty, when not spoiling our children isn’t even the ultimate goal of parenting

This is especially true in the Christian community.  We worry (even though we shouldn’t) that we will somehow not teach our children proper obedience, and then when they’re older they won’t obey God. We worry that if our children aren’t immediately obeying us by the time they are 4, 3, 2, or I read one blog post that says children should be immediately obeying by 18 months (!) that we’ve somehow grievously failed them and they will never accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

We worry that if our child has a behavior on the “your child might be spoiled if….” lists then our parenting is all for naught.  Let me encourage you for a moment to forget the lists, forget the blog posts, and consider what the Word of God has to say on child-rearing.

As far as blog posts and “your child might be spoiled if….” lists go, consider this: Every mother has different goals.  I have not taught my three year old how to buckle herself into her car-seat but according to one list if my three year old can’t buckle herself into a car-seat then she’s spoiled, when in reality I just don’t want her to pinch her fingers.  But to the mother who wrote the blog post this was an important thing to teach her three year olds and she expected them to do it.

Here’s the thing about all those lists, you could still have a child that demonstrates “spoiled” behavior even if you’re doing everything right as a parent.  God himself had the first 2 children (Adam and Eve) rebel against him and he was the only perfect parent in existence.  Our children have sin natures!  A rebellious child is not necessarily a reflection on parenting. 

Our children’s sin nature aside, it is possible to raise a child without regret or worry and tomorrow, we’ll talk about how.  I wanted to put all my thoughts into one post, but I wound up writing nearly 1000 words, a big blogger no-no : )  Today’s post isn’t complete without tomorrow’s so I invite you to subscribe so you don’t miss it.

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  1. Great post, I really needed this encouragement today! I do my best simply to enjoy my kids and not stress on the discipline. To take things as they come and as the Lord lays them on my heart! But you are so right that it can get confusing when you start to listen to all the other voices coming at you...So it's such a good reminder to have that "every mother has different goals" and that every kid has different needs. Thanks!
    --Sadee @ a Picturebook Life

  2. WOW! It never occurred to me that God was the first parent and the only 'perfect' one of course - but his kids still messed up. I repeat, WOW! Thanks for that tidbit as well as the rest of the post.

  3. I'm a little concerned... it's extremely important to think about "tomorrow" when parenting. I feel like you're saying, "No matter what you do, they'll still turn out fine, whatever." I want to be proactive in my child's life and in helping to mold their life with the Lord!

  4. Blessed 1 Indeed, I hope you'll read tomorrow's post, I just couldn't put all my thoughts into one day.

  5. Thank you for this...It's true that obedience and appropriate behavior is essential BUT it's important not to get caught up in the outside-of-Scripture-lists or compare our kids to others in terms of what they "should" or "should not" be doing. I know I was way stricter with my first son and realized that I could relax and still maintain appropriate standards. There is always an aspect of giving your kids grace as well.

    Elizabeth@Warrior Wives


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