Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Finding Peace in the Midst of Grief Part One

I wish so badly we lived in a perfect world, and that every time a woman gets the news of a pregnancy it would end 9 months later with a perfectly healthy baby in her arms.  Unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world and infertility, miscarriage, still-birth, and infant loss  are all too real in our lives.

Becky and I were pregnant together 2 years ago, I still remember the night I got the phone call telling us she was in the hospital not to give birth, but because her baby had died.  This is her story:

My name is Becky. I am 28 yrs old. My son Jeffrey Jr. passed away at 38 weeks gestation April 28,2010.  I was asked to share my story in hopes of encouraging other Christian women in similar situation. 

My husband and I decided about a year after our second baby was born that we wanted to let God decide whether we had more children and how many. For many months we did not conceive so we thought that we were done having children and we were learning to be content with that. 

However, in October 2009, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that I was expecting again. This was an uneventful pregnancy and we were excitedly dreaming and planning for the arrival of our first son.

I had my regular appointment on Monday April 26, and everything was fine. The baby dropped a week or so before that and his movements started to decrease. I thought he was just getting ready to come out.

On Wednesday, I hardly felt him move. Wednesday night I did a kick test and got only a few movements. On Thursday I didn't feel any movements at all. So I called the doctor and he said to go right to the hospital and get checked out.

We thought that Jeffrey was just being quiet and gearing up for delivery. The nurse in the triage had trouble finding a heartbeat. She called the resident to do an ultrasound and she asked the nurse to get my doctor who just happened to be there that day. He came in and confirmed that they couldn't see the movement of the heartbeat and that Jeffrey had passed away. 

We were in complete shock and the scene still plays in my head. I never thought, and who does, that something like this would happen to me. I kept hoping that somehow they were wrong and that when I delivered that it would be like a scene from a movie and that he would miraculously be alive.

We decided to induce shortly thereafter and Jeffrey was delivered around 1 p.m. on Friday. 

13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
 14I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
 15My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 16Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
 17How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
 18If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psalm 139:13-18

Read Part II tomorrow

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