Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Hope After Miscarriage and Still Birth

This would have been the month my last pregnancy should have ended, and even though I feel another precious child moving within me the pain of the pregnancies I've lost still stings at times.  No matter how short our children's lives may be there is still hope if we have Christ.  I know the following conversation isn't how things "work" but the thought of my children speaking to Jesus in heaven brings me comfort and I hope it does you as well.

Where am I?

You're in heaven.

Heaven?  How did I wind up here?

Well, through the love of your parents and a miracle your soul was created.  You were growing in your mother's womb waiting to see the world and something happened before you had a chance to be born.

Something happened?

Your mother got an infection and her body wasn't able to support your life any longer.


When I created the universe, my most precious creations were Adam and his wife Eve.  They were beautiful and their perfection brought me such joy.  I so wanted to bless them with children of their own.  They never would have needed to think about the pain of child birth, sickness of their infants, or loss of their precious little souls they took a part in bringing into existence.  Their children would have brought them nothing but uninhibited, unbridaled joy, with no worry or fear, much like the joy I experienced after first creating them.  But then something happened.

What happened?

Sin, sin entered the world and ruined what would have been perfect.  Now when parents are blessed with the news that they are going to welcome a new soul into the world they anxiously wait before they tell anyone for fear that something will go wrong.  Instead of all pregnancies ending with excitement they all end in pain in one form or another.  Some parents, like yours are never blessed with the joy of holding their new babies, they are left with empty arms and breaking hearts.

So, that's why I never lived?


Sin must be horrible.  How does anyone have any hope at all?

I sent my son so people could find freedom from sin, and one day everything will be as I first intended.  You're here because of His sacrifice and your parents have the hope of joining you one day because they've given their lives to Him.

What now?

Well, from the moment you were concieved, I knew you.  And though your parents had plans for your life, I knew as I was forming you in your mother's womb you'd soon be with me here.  Even though you may have never breathed air, nursed at your mothers breast, or felt your father's strong arms, your soul was still created, and now your purpose is here with me. 

Will you comfort my family?

Of course, they know the greatest Comforter there is.  They will also recieve comfort from my Holy Word, from others who have shared in their grief, and they will recieve great solace in the fact your time, however short it may have been, was not in vain, and they will be comforted in the fact you never knew sin and all the sorrow it brings.

You now get to begin serving me, and one day your parents, brothers, and sisters will join you; and your family will serve me together for all eternity.  Everyone's time on earth is but a vapor, but those who choose me during their life will find all their hope answered in such a way it is too glorious to put into words.

I understand, I just hope my parents will too.

 They will, I will use their grief to grow them in ways they never would have dreamed.  They'll be a comfort to others who will one day walk down the same path they do now, and one day their hope will be answered.

I hope that day comes soon.

It will my child, it will.

Post Script: Now I have a silly prayer request for anyone who may be reading this.  My husband bought me a ring with a real sapphire, September's birthstone so we could remember this little one, unfortunately it's desperately lost (as well as two other rings with it).  My heart just breaks that I don't know where it is.  I realize it's just a thing, but nonetheless if you could take a moment and ask God to aid me in finding this precious token I would greatly appreciate it.  I'll leave this post script up as long as they are missing.

Update on Post Script: October 26, my husband found my rings last night.  It's such a blessing to know that God cares about these little things, but it's an even bigger blessing to know how much more He cares about the "big" things in my life as well.  It's funny how something so small can be used to strengthen your faith.

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